


Ten Days Later And I Realize The Truth

by Sleepygallavich



Category: Shameless (US), Shameless - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Ian, Emotional, Future Fic, Gallavich, Gallavich Week, Getting Back Together, Hurt Mickey Milkovich, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post 6x01, Prison, Protective Ian Gallagher, Romance, Sad Mickey, Shameless, Shameless s6, post 5x12, s666, shameless us
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 12:57:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5744692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepygallavich/pseuds/Sleepygallavich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 6x01.<br/>After few days Ian realizes what he have done to Mickey, what a dick he was, he misses his ex-boyfriends and wants to fix everything. But how is he gonna do this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, guys so I decided to write this because I just can’t stand the way the left Ian’s and Mickey’s story. It’s kind of react fic. 6x01 it’s such shitty episode that I can’t even tell you how sad and angry I am. Anyways, if you like it and you would want to hear the rest of the story just leave kuddos and Comment. It would be really nice.
> 
> I’m sorry for any misspells or mistakes themselves, English is not my first language. Anyways, I hope you enjoy, also hope it’s better than what they did on the show
> 
> For news/question/whatever you want head BACK to my tumblr http://mirantniss.tumblr.com

CHAPTER I

***  
Second day without you and I want to forget.  
Third day without you and I decide to let it go.  
Fourth day without you and I just fall asleep.  
Fifth day without you and I remember what I did.  
Sixth day without you and I try to convince myself that is better this way.  
Seventh day without you and I feel that I did something wrong.  
Eighth day without you and I start to remember all this bad things.  
Ninth day without you and I see what I lost.  
Tenth day without you and I realize that I’m so not over you.

—————————————-

It’s almost 6 am when red headed Gallagher opens his eyes, but he closes them as soon as the bright light of the sun hits him.  
Instead of opening them again he stretches and his hands are constantly looking for another body, body that suppose be laying next to his, body of the boy with a dark hair, caring, sweet, but also a little mean boy, but all they found are soft sheets, nothing more.

Ian decides to open his eyes once again, all he sees is empty space, there is no one in his bed, he cannot just move closer to dark haired boy, he cannot spoon him, he cannot tangle his hands into his, he cannot give him a “good morning kiss”, he cannot even admire him while he is sleeping.

The boy that supposed to be lying next to him it’s gone. The only person who he can blame is himself.

Ian looks around the room and listen to the quiet that is so unusual for this house.  
This house used to be full of kids, full of love and also hate, it was always so messy and loud here.

It’s 6:34 am. Red head gets up from bed, pulls some pants on and quietly walks down the stairs to get out of the house to catch some fresh air.

When he is finally outside he takes cigarettes out of his pocket and lights up one of them.  
He closes his eyes and lets his head fall back as he takes another breath to suck into cigarette.

Only two weeks ago he was happier than he is right now, he felt loved, well he was loved, even when he had to take his meds, he was much more cool with this than he is right now.

This days Fiona checks him every single morning and tells him “breakfast,meds,work.”, it became routine for him, annoying and senseless kind of one.  
Not that he hates his sister, he loves her, he knows she wants best for him, but she is just not like Ian wants, she is not Mickey Milkovich.

He looks at the sky and lets his mind go back to the day when he screwed everything up.

****

“So, this is it? This is you breaking up with me…?” “Really?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Fuck.”

****

That day he felt feeling-less, he felt like a baby who can’t take care of himself, or just like a freak who doesn’t understand anything, like not himself, but it was him. He was being himself, he wanted to be, he wanted to be accepted and not treated like a porcelain that cannot be hurt because if it will fall and break into a million pieces he’ll have to be fixed. He doesn’t want to be fixed. It seemed to him like no one understood him, but looking at it now he isn’t that sure, maybe there was someone who truly understood him, maybe just a little, but that was something, maybe there was someone who accepted Ian for who he was.

Why is he realizing this now and not earlier? It’s clear to see it was Mickey, it always was Mickey, he never tried to change him, he just wanted to help him and love him, he wanted to have him next to himself, nothing more.

He took care of Ian, told him how much he loved him, made him breakfast, kissed him whenever he felt so, he cuddled with him under covers and sometimes even hummed his favorite song lyrics to make Ian fall asleep, it was kind of childish, but it was cute and it worked. He never felt more loved and needed.

“What did I do?” He whispered to himself.  
Mickey was always so gentle, nice and all that to him, but he never actually thanked him for this, never told him that he is so thankful to have such an amazing boyfriend, instead he broke his heart, let cops take him to jail for trying to kill Sammi, visited him only because Svetlana payed him, he even told Mickey the real reason why he came there.

He was awful person, he was the most horrible human being, he was being selfish and uncaring. Sure, he can blame it on his bipolar disease, but it was him, he broke Mickey’s heart, he treated him like total shit. It was all his fault.

After spending two weeks in his daily routine he realized that he is missing just one thing in his life, he is missing one person, he is missing his Mick.  
Ian finished his cigarette.

“I have to get him back. I have to get him out of prison. I have to apologize and hope he will at least stay my friend. I have to …”  
His thoughts were stopped by the noise made by someone opening the door.

“Ian?” He hear the soft voice of Fiona’s. “Come back home, I made you breakfast, you gotta eat something before work.”  
He doesn’t turned around to face her.  
“Ian?” She repeated. “Hey, it’s gonna be fun day, Sean texted me that he has some good leftover cake from yesterday’s birthday. Come on!”  
“I’m not going to work today. Tell Sean I got sick or something.” He now turned to face Fiona.  
“Whaa… Ian.” She stepped out of the door and came closer to her brother “what do you mean by this? What are you doing today that you can work? Is it because of your illness? Maybe we should go to see a doctor?”  
“I’m okay,” he almost screamed. “I… I just need to do something important.” He lowered his voice and looked down at his feet.  
“So you are not gonna tell me what?” She asked calmly.  
“No. It’s just…”  
“Just tell me it’s not about this strip club or other trouble. Promise me you won’t get in trouble.” She looked really worried.  
“Promise. None of those things.” He calmed her down.  
“Okay, so can we now go eat breakfast?”  
“Yeah, just give me one sec, go, just give me one more sec.”

She nodded and head back home.

Ian one more time closed his eyes and remembered what he said after he blew the best thing that ever happened to him.

“Done with that part of my life.”  
“Oh, you tried so hard to make it real, boy, but the truth is you were never done with it and you’ll never will. You love him, you need him. Now get your shit together and go get Mickey out of this horrible place. You can do this.”

After saying this out loud as a response to himself he head back home to eat breakfast and take his damn meds.


	2. Don't Wanna Close My Eyes If I'm Losing You Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian has got a plan. He tells it to Svetlana, but will she agree to somekind of deal with him?  
> Will Ian figure out how to get his life together and not screw up good things in his life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for liking and commenting first chapter!! I felt so happy, I still am :) 
> 
> Hope this chapter won't be boring. Enjoy !
> 
> Leave a comment and kiddos if you like the chapter :*

"I need your help." was what came first from Ian's mouth as soon as Svetlana asked him what is he doing this early at the doorstep.

"What kind of help?"

"I-I..." - he was getting nervous, what if she won't agree to his plan? Maybe he should just figure out something on his own? "I need you to go see Micky with me." There it is. He said it. 

"What do you need from him? He owes you something? Money?" She sat on the couch to feed Yevgeny. 

"No. I just... I need to see him." 

"Ohh, what a change? Last time... ."  
She said with her Russian accent, looking at Ian and ironically smiling .

"Forget it. I just need to see him. I need to fix this. I need to get him out of there." 

"You think he wants to see you?"

Ian automatically went sad, he knew Micky will probably prefer not to see him, it would coast him a lot if pain. He made a lot of damage to black head man, but the only way to fix all of this was seeing and talking to him. If he can fix that much broken heart...

"No, I don't think so..." - he took a deep breath and looked at Svetlana. " but I have to try, I need to do this."

"You hurt him." She looked angry, but not crazy-angry, just angry. After all she had some kind of feelings for Mickey. She still was his wife and mother of his child.

"I know, that's why I want to apologize him, if I could I would just turn back time and never break up with him. He... He's just too good for me." It was hard to admit so, but it was the truth.

Little boy on Svetlana's lap fell asleep as he drunk her milk. He looked so peaceful, he was so beautiful. 

"Yes." She just agreed. She was right, he couldn't be mad at her for agreeing with what he said.

"The thing is that I-I, I never had anyone take care of me like he did, no one ever loved me like him, no one ever was like him around me. It all was new and strange for me, he was freaking out about my bipolar thing, I didn't needed that. But now..." He couldn't take his eyes off the baby. " I need a light like him in my life. I know it sounds jealous, but I just ..." He never said something like this out loud, he never said this to anyone, not even to Mickey, and that was mistake. " I love him."

Dark-haired mom looked just as shocked as she was when her husband first said these words when he left a message for Ian.   
She just watched as Ian's head fell down. He was just pretending like floor was now the most interesting thing here. 

"Really?"

He didn't even believed he said so.

"Yeah" after few seconds if silence he spoke again. "So, will you? Go with me?"

They exchanged few looks before she managed to reply.

"Why can't you just go by yourself?"

"It's because, like you said, I'm worried he won't want to see me. I need them to tell him that you came to him, not me."

"Deal. But tell me the rest if your plan. And don't break his heart again. Also you'll watch The baby when I go for work."

"I won't." He promised her and himself. "Deal."

********************************************

Ian got back home only to change his clothes to his sport one and go for a run.

When he runs he always has time for thinking, he wanted to rethink everything that he ever done. He wanted to see where he did wrong. Not only in his relationship, but also in his other contacts with people. 

Red head was running as fast as he can when he was passing by all shops and restaurants, he didn't want to look at people or get in any interactions with them. He wanted to be alone.

He finally made it away from the town and he was alone on his way to nearby forest. He slowed down. It's time to think.

All that he could get from his "talk" to himself was that he actually only fucked up with his ex, other things were either Frank's or Monica's fault, they made him like this. Two of them were terrible parents, Frank is Frank, and not his father anyway, at least for sometime Ian thought he was his father, Monica left, came back and cut herself on the Thanksgiving, she took Ian away, told him to break off everything with Mickey... . Sometimes he wishes that his life was like others teenagers, his only problems would be college, "go to party or not?", what to wear, all that shit. 

He needed to fix what he could fix, he couldn't turn back time, change the way he thinks or stop being bipolar (well he should have taken the pills, they'll help him). 

 

********************************************

The next day Ian revived a phone call from Svetlana in which she said that that they can't visit Mickey for a month now, she said that he is on this THERAPY and no one can visit him until the first month of therapy is done.

"What have I done to him?" Ian whispered to himself. He couldn't believe that all things that dark haired man was put through made him need a therapy. Well, he knew that he hurt him badly and Mick was broken, but A THERAPY?!   
Maybe that's for good... Who knows. 

So he now had month to think about maybe better plan how to get him out of prison and what to say to him when they finally meet. He had time to get better, take his meds, try hard to be his old self, he will sure have a lot of time for missing.

********************************************

First week of the "Waiting Month" was actually harder than Ian thought it will be.   
He couldn't sleep, if he did sleep he always woke up sweaty and scared, he had terrible nightmares, he always was loosing Mickey in them, either he was dying or he never wanted to see Ian again.   
He was frustrated by all of them.

Besides that everyday he went to his job in bar and he was acting like it's all good. He tried to focus on something else, he even asked Carl to watch all Star Wars movies with him! 

At weekends he would go for a run and to gym and he would train even harder than he used to. 

Once when he was doing some push-ups one of the personal trainer of someone else went to him and and told him about this run race where you can win big money. He wasn't really interested about it for the first time, but after few days of doing actually nothing and trying to focus on taking his meds and anything that wasn't Mickey related, he signed up for the competition. 

He even stopped smoking for this.  
It was hard, but he did so.   
He kept getting better and better, the race was coming closer and closer.  
By this time Ian became a lot more active and pumped up, his muscles also got bigger, he finally could see his abs.   
All this was leaving him a little time for thinking about getting his love back.

He still had nightmares, after three weeks, but they were more about his past, good times with Mickey, he was remembering time when he felt for him, he usually end up crying himself to pillow, it was better than being scared and loosing his love. That what he was saying to himself. 

********************************************

After a long workout on Sunday Ian went to see Svetlana and Yevgeny, he promised her to take care of him while she was at work.

She was no longer a hooker, she actually was helping out Kevin in "Alibi" , she was doing pretty well behind the bar. 

When Yev was lying on his laps and giggling, Ian just couldn't not think about how lookalike he was to Mickey, he had the same eyes and smile, that was also one of the reasons he made a decision to love that baby, he was the part of his loved one and somehow it was beautiful. If only he could have them back together, they would be the happiest family on the entire world. 

They both fell asleep curled up to one another, Ian's hands protectively warped around little boy who he would never let get hurt by anyone.   
He dreamed about his one big, happy home, just him, Mickey and Yev. It was first good dream after long time. Through the dream he sure had a little smile on his face.


	3. Everything Changes, People Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and his run competition + visiting Mickey in jail

"Ian! Get up! You will miss your chance to win this fuckin' race you've been training so hard for! Get your damn ass of your bed!" Ian was woken up to Fiona screaming from down stairs. 

He stretched, jawed a couple of time before he stood up and do some push ups.  
After that he took a quick shower, changed into his sport clothes and ate a energy bar which he flash with a little bit of water. He doesn't want to feel heavy while running. 

Fiona made sure he was fine and that he took his meds, she asked him "if he is really okay" like a thousand times. Overprotective sister. 

She, Debbie and Lip; yes Lip drew two hours to South Side just to be there for Ian, best brother ever, wore t-shirts with "GO GALLAGHER!" sign at the back of them. It was kinda sweet.

*******************************************

They finally made it outside of the gym were competition was beginning. 

"You ready, Ian ?" asked Lip.

"you realize who are you talking to, right?" Ian responded with a huge smile. 

"You gonna kick those fuckers asses! Look at them, I'm sure they are not as good prepared as you, their muscles are smaller." Said Debbie.

Ian looked at his opponents  
then look at Debbie with "are you fucking kidding me?!" look, because all these guys were big, tall, but some of them not really, had huge biceps, they all were doing jumping jacks, push ups and all that shit, it sure wasn't their first competition. 

"You know, you can always ..." Debbie got that crazy look in her eyes. She searched for something in her pocket. 

"No, Debs, don't even pull that out, whatever it is. I want to ruin all those guys fair." 

He would be lying if he said that he was not terrified or stressed at the moment. He never attempted to something like this, he knew he could run really fast and if he wanted something really bad, he would get it by himself. 

"Think positive, Ian." He thought to himself. "These sucker don't know who they messed up with.". 

The competition runners gave every participant a sticker with their number and surname, Ian got 15, there were another 17 numbers, so he had to beat up 31 guys. Can do. 

Fiona and Debbie gave him a huge hugs, but Lip instead of do something normal, slapped him in the face and said "you better win this bro." 

With the "boom" from the cannon  
the race began. 

Ian decided that he will go fast now, slow down if he will need so, but still run fast then at the end speed up and go faster than he ever did. 

His plan didn't go exactly as he thought, but still he did a great job.  
Whenever he felt like he was gonna quit he looked around and saw his family shouting to him not to give the fuck up. 

He finished as fifth. That was cool, even thought he won't step on podium, he tried his best, he was just a tiny close to winning. He was happy. 

Ian haven't even had time to say anything because as soon as he took a deep breath to calm down Debbie was in front of him handing him a bottle of water, which he took giving her a "thank you" look.

"You were awesome anyways!" She started.

"You're the best, Ian." Fiona added. 

"Next time you're gonna beat them up so hard they won't want to see you ever again." Lip waited for a high five from his brother. 

Ian just smiled and they headed for his price, which was fifty dollars. Not big money, but it was great anyways, he was the last one to actually get the price, other places got just gratulations and lousy jackets. 

\-----------------------------------------

*next day* 

Ian was in the middle of making pancakes for him and Liam when his phone rang. It was Svetlana.

"Hi." his face went from calm to serious. 

"They called. We can come today." she said as always a little to loud.

"Wait. What are you... Is it about... I mean... Is it Mickey?" he had so many feelings right now.

"Mickey, who else would I talk about?"

"Right."

"You coming?"

He shock his head and went outside.

"Yes, of course. But when? When can we go?"

"Be there at 10. I'll wait with Yevgeny outside for you."

"Okay." he looked up to see the time on his phone. It was 8:34am. "I'll be there, thank you, Lana."

"Don't be late, I got meeting at 12, so I won't wait for you long."

"You won't. I promise."

She hang up.

Talking to her was weird. When they lived together they would joke around and talk, they would give each other nicknames, and not that "carrot top" thing, but she liked to call Ian "Mr. Baby Boy", it was not about him being childish in any way, but about him taking care and playing around with Yevgeny.  
Something changed. Svetlana was more cold to him than she have ever been.  
Ian wanted their old relationship back. 

\-----------------------------------------

Ian managed to give Liam his breakfast, eat his own as fast as he could without doing it really really fast, because he knew it wasn't bad for him, he took his pills, headed up to his room and then he stopped. 

"What should I wear?" he stood in front of his closet and stared at it. 

He eventually searched through all of them and couldn't find perfect outfit. One shirt didn't Mach the jeans he was about to put on, then he saw a hole into another that finally was good. 

He knew Mickey doesn't really cared about the fashion, he knew he wouldn't mind his clothes, he didn't even know if He wanted to see him after all this, but he just wanted to look good to show his love that he cares. 

After a few thrown up on the floor T-shirts he choose to wear the the gray one with light green stripes and black jeans. 

He also messed with his hair by simply spraying it, but not too much, he wanted them to stay fluffy and messy. He knew Mickey liked his hair. 

He looked in the mirror about thousand times before he left the house. 

\----------------------------------------

"Relationship status?" The guard asked Ian.

"He is family." Svetlana interrupted before Ian could even think of the answer. 

"So who is he to Mr. Milkovich?" guard asked again.

"I said, he is family, he helps me, now let us in." She got angry, she handed Ian Yevgeny to hold him while she took a pencil that laid on the table. "Where do I have to sign to make you let him in?"

Ian wasn't expecting her taking his side. 

"Mrs. Milkovich we have rules, we cannot let anybody in here without knowing their status to prisoner." 

Guard stood there facing Lana and blocking their way to enter the guest room. 

"It's okay..." Ian lowered his voice and began to handing Yevgeny over to his mom. "I don't need to..." 

"Oh, no!" Svetlana interrupted him. "You want to see him, you waited, I help you." 

"He is his boyfriend. Now let us in." She spoke again, looking more scarier than she ever had.

Surprisingly, the guard stepped away and let them in.

"Boyfriend" more like "ex-boyfriend" Ian was confused, but happy they let them in.  
His hart began to beat faster, he knew he was about to see Mickey. 

"How is he going to look?" "What do I tell him?" "How not to get a heart attack when he sees him?" "Oh my God, I'm going to die!!" and there were not all Red haired boy's thoughts right now. 

Svetlana grabbed him by his arm and told him he can go first. Mickey was already by his phone behind the glass. 

Ian walked slow to his seat, he was looking down, even after seating on the chair. He was afraid to look at person that he damaged so hard that he had to go on a therapy, he is behind the bars because of him. 

He needed to look up after all, so he did. 

The man behind the glass was so small and thin, his eyes lost their color, their sparkle, he had dark circles under them. He looked at the wall behind Ian.  
On his face there were a few of red scars like he has been attacked by furious cats, he also had a purple marks of violence on his cheek. His hand was shaking just by holding a phone.  
Is this his Mickey?

Ian's eyes got teary, he felt like crying. The only person who he was mad at was himself. He hated what he was seeing, he wanted to break the glass and take Mickey away from there. He wanted to hold him and never let him go again, he wanted to say "I'm sorry" and "I love you" as many times as he needed to make The boy he loved believe it. He wanted to do all of this and more, but he couldn't. 

"What are you doing here?" weak, hoarse voice came out of the phone as he pressed it into his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to upload. Anyways, I know chapter may not be really interesting, but next one is going to be bomb so keep reading :) I hope you enjoyed. Let me know if I should writing this or should I give up.


	4. Maybe Silence Is Better Than Actual Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian visits Mickey in the prison.  
> He tried to speak to him.  
> Will he handle what Mickey is about to say?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SO SO SORRY. I haven't posted chapter for so long, but believe me I have my reasons. School. I have so much work to do that I don't have a time to write :( but now I found some and I'll try to post new chapter every single Sunday. So if you are still interested just let me know and stick with me! :) 
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter. I Gotta admit, it's not the BEST one. 
> 
> I'm sorry for mistakes, engilish is my not first language.

Before Ian could say anything the voice coming out of the phone repeated. 

"What the FUCK you doin' here?" Nothing more nothing less, just the same sentence. 

Red haired man stared at the boy behind the glass and he still couldn't believe that was his Mick. Well, not longer HIS, but still "his" as the person he loved. He still loves.  
He was not able to say a single word, his mind was full if questions "who did that to him?" "Was he put up with his father!" "Did he bit him up?" "How was Mickey's therapy going?" "Is it working?" "How huge damage did I do to him?" "Will he ever forgive me?" "WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO SAY?!".  
"Damn, Ian fucking say something!" - he thought to himself. 

"I just, I-I... uh " he took a deep breath. "Are you okay? Shit. I mean, you are probably not okay. But like, are you hurt? Physically?" 

No answer.

Ian waited a little longer then looked into Mickey's eyes which were blankly staring at the same wall behind the red head as they did just a few seconds ago. Ian wanted to cry. He wanted to do something to himself, he wanted to punish himself for breaking dark haired boy. 

"Listen, Mick." He began. "Just tell me everything you want to say to me, yell at me, say how horrible I am. Do it. I deserve it." 

Still not answer.

"I can take it. I'm a horrible person and I don't deserve you, you deserve so much better than me. Say anything you want to say to my face." 

Silence began to destroy him. 

"I'm sorry for what I did to you. I really am. I'll never forgive myself this. I know you are hurt, I can see that. Seeing you like this breaks my heart." He was almost not able to speak, he haven't even noticed that tears started coming out of his eyes. "Look, what I did was awful, I am mentally ill, that's not my excuse, it's just a fact. I acted weird, I didn't want to take my pills, yes, that was a mistake, but now I'm better, I'm taking my meds. I realized how much of an idiot I was and what I've lost. I've lost the best thing that ever happened to me. You." He placed his free hand on the glass. 

The boy in front of him was no longer staring at the wall, he was looking directly at Ian. His hands stopped shaking. He moved a little forward so he could put his full arm on the desk. He looked like he was studying Ian's face and trying to get even more from him facial expression. Was he questioning if he was serious? Was he confused? 

"I love you." It's been a long time since this words came out of his mouth. He wasn't able to stop himself from saying them. It was how he felt. He missed the boy that now was locked up behind the bars, he truly loved him. 

The tears coming out of his eyes into his cheeks like Niagara Falls. He was a mess. But at least he was speaking the truth.

Mickey opened his mouth a little.  
He stood up, looked at Ian and spoke.

"Go."

"Wait Mick." Ian was trying to figure out what was going on.

"I said - Go." He repeated, but now a little bit louder. 

"Mick..."

"DON'T CALL ME LIKE THIS!" He said even louder than he did before.

He looked angry and hurt, his eyes got red. He squeezed his fists. He looked like he was about to cry.  
It broke Ian's heart even harder.

He didn't know what to do. 

"Mickey..." Ian almost whispered. He was afraid of what was going to happen. He still haven't took his hand of the glass. 

"GO! Just fucking go!" Mickey stepped back so he would be far away from the person who hurt him.

He turned back and look at the guard. 

"Get him out of here. We're done." He said as he began to walk away from the meeting room. 

"Mickey wait PLEASE MICK I'M FUCKING SORRY! CONE BACK PLEASE!" Ian screamed through the tears and leaned the closest he could to the glass "PLEASE DON'T GO! I NEED TO TELL YOU MORE I NEED TI EXPLAIN!"

The guard from behind Ian took him by his hands and was trying to pull him away from the glass and the phone. 

Mickey haven't looked back, he was out of the room already. 

Ian started screaming and crying like a baby, he tried to free from guard's arms and run back to the glass just he could scream even louder. 

"MICK I LOVE YOU!! COME THE FUCK ON! LET ME EXPLAIN!!" 

When he was about to kick the guard by his leg, the other guard cane to help his coworker with Ian.  
They both got Ian out of the meeting space and put handcuffs on his wrists.

 

When he finally was on the outside the guards let go of his fists. 

"Let me in! I need to tell him something!" Ian was angry and was looking for any clue how he can get back to see Mickey. 

"Sorry, can't do." One of the guards informed him. He was tall and well build. He looked a bit scary. 

Ian haven't really paid attention to his words and tried to open THE DAMN PRISON DOOR. But they stayed closed. There were no way he could enter the building. He began knocking his fists against the door.

"Ms. ...." The other guard looked at Ian's badge. "Gallagher!" He pulled Red head boy out of his "activity". "Ms. Gallagher, you cannot go back there! The prisoner already said that he don't want to see you." 

By the time Ian was making up something to say to the man infringing of him Svetlana with Yevgeny on her hands came out of the prison door. 

"What you do?!" She said her not perfect English with a disappointment in her voice.  
"Let me get him. I talk to him." She said to the guards. "Leave us. We'll go." 

"Are you sure?" One of the guard asked. 

"Yes. I know him. I calm him down, you go."

They listened to her and slowly took Ian's handcuffs off. 

"You better not be trying to enter again until you are fine, you need to calm down man." The guard with the gun said. 

They said goodbye to Svetlana and walked back to their work place. 

Ian stood there looking at Svetlana. 

"What stupid thing you do?" She asked as she came closer to red head boy. 

"You don't understand." He began. "I just wanted to talk to Mickey, but they interrupted us!" He looked at her trying to play it cool. " you need to get me back there. I need to tell him how much I love him! Please, Lana. You know I love him." He was desperate. 

" it's not what they say. They say he want you out, you're not listening to him."

"You don't.... They are liars, please, believe me, I know what happened." 

"you take your pills today?"

"Does it matter? I love him! I don't need pills to help me with this."

"We go home, now!" She said and took Ian by his shoulder, turn him back to the direction of the car. 

"No! No! I need to know what happened to his face! We must go back there! I'm going, you want stop me." He was ready to run back to the prison when Svetlana handed him Yevgeny who began to cry.

"You can't do this to me!!!" Now he had no choice, if he would go back with a baby in his arms he sure would be heard and it would be much harder climbing on the fence with a baby just to get into the building. 

" I can, now go to the car. We go home. You don't do it I call Fiona and tell her everything, she keep you in home all the time and you never come here again." 

Ian didn't know what to say. He was so angry that he wanted to just shoot someone, he wanted to break something and then cry.

But he hasn't got much choice, if he wanted come back here Fiona can't know that he is visiting Mickey. 

He got put Yevgeny into his seat and then he sat next to him to keep an eye on him.  
He felt like he was about to explode.  
All the way home he was thinking about the whole situation and was making up plan how to go back again so he can finish his conversation with Mickey, so he can know what happened to him and try to talk to him and get some proper answers. 

"I'm fucked up" he whispered.


	5. Maybe It's Better To Let Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian had to make a plan so he he can see Mickey again. He wants to get his heart back, but some things might be impossible...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry guys!! :/ school is kicking my butt so hard and I have no time at all, please forgive me.
> 
> Anyways, next chapter this Friday!! :D hope you enjoy and stick with me even though I have messed up schedule :) Let me know what you think!!

Entire way home Ian was silent and didn't even want to calm Yev when he starred crying for who knows what reason.  
The secon after Svetlana's car parked infron of Gallagher's house Ian got out of the car, still not even saying goodbyes. He realized that as soon as he'll be alone he'll figure out good plan to go back to Mickey. And most important: how to win his heart back. It will be hard, but it's worth fighting for. 

 

 

Young Gallagher didn't want to step in to the house, he knew he for sure won't be alone there so he decided to go for a walk. He actually just went straight, not caring where is he going, it didn't matter. 

Whole situation that happened at prison... .  
"Just breathe, breath" saying so he took a deep breath and tried to control his breath.

Walking down the street in South Side wasn't maybe the best idea, it wasn't silent here. Who would expect this anyways?  
A group of kids was playing football on the grass, they all were probably under twelve, but they played like they were grown up men. They kicked hard, screamed loud and you could almost feel the tension between opposite teams.  
Ian never actually was into football, he always wanted something more exciting, more dangerous.

As he started to breath calmly he tried to reconstruct situation from about an hour ago.  
He went to see Mickey. He sat in front of him. He looked at him. Picked up a phone and started talking. Something went wrong. Mickey didn't want him there. Ian cried. Guards took him outside. He got really mad and crazy. He was crazy. Crazy in love.

What was that thing that made his ex almost scream? What made him wanting Ian out? Was that something he said? Was that calling him by his nickname? Was that just Ian as person? 

He knew Mickey had every rights to be mad and sad, but at least he could have just listen to him. 

That happened. If he haven't had a time machine on, which he could go back and try talking to Milkovich again he needed another plan. But what can he do besides going back to prison and pray that Mickey would eventually agree on seeing him?  
He really was thinking hard, came up with few ideas, but after rethinking them he rejected all of them. 

"Thing you idiot.".  
Mickey was in prison for a reason, right?  
What if there were no reason to keep him in there? Could Ian confess Sammi to tell the police that she made up the whole story because she missed his son? Is that possible? What if not? He needed more plans. Maybe he could go to police station and testify as a witness, tell them that he saw the whole situation, he could also take Debbie and some other people. The only problem here would be lying to police, he can do that, he would do anything just to see Mickey again, but he wasn't so sure about other people.  
But that plan could actually work if he had a group of people who were ready to lie for him, who would tell the police that Mickey couldn't do anything to Sammi that night because he was with them or something. He needed help. 

He reached to his pocket for his phone and called first number on his list. 

First time she haven't picked up, so he tried again. It was important though. Worked this time.

"Mandy?"

Silence.

"Mandy, are you there?"

"Ian?" He was shocked that she picked up. He though that Kenyatta took her phone or told her not to pick up her phone.

"Yeah, who do you think else could it be? So yes, it's me, Ian."

"Oh." 

"Are you okay? Where are you? Are you hurt or something?" There were actual questions that he was dying to ask her. 

"I'm okay" her voice was calm, but still a little quiet. 

"Where are you?"

"I'm save don't you worry. Not out of country. You?"

"Where I am? Well..."

"No, I meant how are you? How is Mickey?"

How to tell her that he is in prison, he didn't do anything to keep him away from there, but he broke his heart? 

"'Kay. Well, not really, but I'll get there. I need to meet you."

"Something happened to my brother." That wasn't a question. She was good at reading through lines, wasn't it that hard either... .

Ian knew he will have to tell Mandy everything and only right way to do this was eye to eye way. 

"I need to meet you. Just say where you want to talk and I'll be there." 

"Okay" she breathed hardly. "How about the playground  
, you know which?"

"The one we went after I told you I was gay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, so can we meet tomorrow at I don't know, let's say ten am?"

"Works for me, but you need to tell me everything. Promise me you will tell me what the fuck happened to Mickey." He could tell by her voice that she was worried. 

"He's alive, Mandy. And, I promise that I'll tell you everything tomorrow."

"Okay. See you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow."

After putting his phone back into his pocket he looked around to see how far he have gone away from his house. He wasn't that far, he could recognize the place. It was starting to getting colder so he decided to go back.

 

\----------------------------------------

Next morning when Ian woke up, got dressed and was about to make himself a cup of coffee he run into Fiona. 

"Hi" he said, tying to hide his stress which was caused by his meeting with his best friend and telling her everything.

"Hey, haven't seen you yesterday." She started making breakfast for herself.

"Yeah, I had some stuff to do."

"What kind of stuff? Were you looking for a job? You know that they might not want..." he haven't let her finish.

"No, no, not working stuff, it's just... Svetlana needed me to help her with Yev. so I was there pretty long." For a second he thought that she won't believe him, he knew she could read him.

"You must really love him." She smiled.

"Well, I was taking care of him almost since he was born. I got used to spending time with him. He is so beautiful, smart, he is awesome kid." He grabbed his coffee, but before he could take a sip his sister handed him his meds.

"Take those with water. Wherever you are heading today you probably don't want to do something wrong, right." he knew that she was right, but it annoyed him anyway. He listed to her and took his pills and after that he began sipping his coffee.

"Look, Fiona, I gotta go. See you ... later." 

"Okay, just please buy pasta and tomato sause."

"I will." He waved his sister goodbye and headed for his meeting with Mandy. 

\------------------------------------------

Ian was earlier than Mandy at their place. He just sat on one of the swing and waited for girl to show up.  
It wasn't even that long, only few minutes.

Mandy didn't change at all, she looked exactly the same as she looked two months ago. Maybe her scars on her face wre gone now, but that's all. She was wearing faux, black leather jacket and pair of light blue, ripped jeans. She looked amazing. He couldn't tell in what mood she was, because she wasn't showing and face expression at all. 

Ian stood up and didn't really know if he should hug her or just say "hi". He felt a lot better when girl came up close to him and wrapped her hands around his neck. He hugged her back. 

"Hi"

"Hey."

"I missed you" he said.

"Missed you to, but please tell me what's going on. I couldn't sleep thinking about what could have happened."

"Oh" Ian suddenly got a bit upset. 

They both sat on the bench. 

"So...?" She looked at him and smiled a little. It was scared kind of smile, if something like this exist. 

"Okay, just know that I totally understand if you get mad at me."

"Christ, Ian just tell me already! Maybe I'll get mad maybe I won't. Tell me where is Mickey?"

He took a deep breath and squeezed his fists.

"He is in prison." It felt horrible to tell her that. 

"What?! What he did again?"


End file.
